2010

Happy New Year!! Not to let the location ruin things, I spent the past few days making a Times Square style ball - constructed out of two back-to-back hard hats and over 500 left over Christmas lights. Just before midnight I strung it to the flag pole and raised it to the top. A group of us joined for cigars, near beer, and plastic champagne flutes with sparkling apple cider. As the countdown began, I lowered the ball to the ground. Not quite perfect, but it was quite nice. With the plastic hats and party horns and glowing orb and fake champagne, everyone found it a little easier to get into the season.



I concluded the night with the traditional and almost mandatory sharing of the Beef Stick. Perhaps not the pomp and circumstance of previous New Year's Parties, but it's still an important part of what makes the New Year so great. The beef stick tradition now spans both coasts of the United States and has infiltrated Afghanistan. For those who have no idea what I'm talking about - well... I'm sorry.

I will not wax poetically about how 2009 was full of changes and how 2010 is going to be a great year... I just wish you all a wonderful and Happy New Year!

Winter is uppon us!

Another journey out and about Afghanistan today, this time into the mountains on a last minute trip of opportunity. The flight was like any other, up until we got near the FOB, when we started to notice a definite change in temperature. This was confirmed by a change in the landscape from the all-too-common dusty brown to an immaculate white. At that point, things took a turn for the worse - we were essentially flying directly into a blizzard.

As I'm sure we all recall, only a few months ago I was complaining about how hot it was... Well my friends, it is now far too cold. The helicopter is not very water tight, and not very air tight, and the heater and heated seats seemed to be broken. As quarter sized flakes of wet snow pounded against the side of the helicopter, we were left a confined, cold, and wet mess.

After we finally landed in poor visibility and beating snow, Chief and I made our rounds through the project sites and did what we could to solve problems and answer questions. We may have found a solution to save the government a few hundred thousand dollars on two projects, so that's a good day there!

Come departure time, it was still snowing although not as heavily. We had all agreed that trying to complete the second leg of our trip was foolish and that we should head back to KAF. However, about 5 minutes after take off, the helicopter banked sharply to the left and I knew that KAF was not in my immediate future - we were heading back the way we came.

After re-landing the plan was to wait 90 minutes and reassess. This allowed more time to stand around in the snow, and work to solve more of the world's problems. Luckily we did manage to make it out on that try and I am safely (and warmly) back at KAF. Once again, I am reminded why San Diego is my home...

December 25th, 2009

December 25th by all accounts is Christmas, though I've come to find that Christmas is not a date on a calendar, but more so a series of events and activities done in the company of family and friends. As you may have guessed, few of those are found in Afghanistan... So, to an extent, it doesn't feel like Christmas here at all. I worked on Christmas Eve and will no doubt work on Christmas Day. Part of this stems from the amount of work we have to get done here, and part of it has to do with staying busy lest I spend too much time thinking about all the things I'd rather be doing with my Christmas...

But, before anyone gets the crazy notion that all hope is lost and my life has become a desolate wasteland of monotonous work and misery, let me say it is not so! The true generosity of friends and strangers, and the camaraderie of my fellow Seabees has salvaged the holiday and made the best of it.

For one, I can say that starting around late November we started to receive a steady stream of Christmas related care packages. Various groups, including the office of Qualcom (where my boss works for his civilian career), the San Diego Fire Department (where one of the OPS Cheifs works or his civilian career), and the Blue Star Moms of Marin (where my mother volunteers with other mothers of deployed troops) have sent each person in my entire office a stocking filled with various things ranging from MatchBox cars to candy to random treats. Our walls are strewn with these stockings, all a testament to the fact that it is Christmas here in Afghanistan, and people back home care about us.

Furthermore, each person in my office has received at least a few boxes - some many more. Boxes filled with home baked cookies or cakes, snacks, cards from home, photos, gifts, you name it. I have said before that getting packages makes it feel like Christmas - well, getting Christmas packages is even better. Even something as simple as a Christmas card makes the work day brighter. Family, friends, and even complete strangers have sent things to support us, and every little bit makes things feel more like home. I have received cards or packages from family, old co-workers, friends of my parents, family members of co-workers, friends at home, friends from afar, random 3rd grade classrooms, you name it. No matter where they're from, they each help to make things a little more special.

So yes, I will wake up tomorrow morning and do my regular routine (I do get to sleep in...) and put on my uniform and holster my pistol and stroll to work... I will not gather around a tree with my parents to drink mimosas and open presents in front of the fire, admiring all the beautifully wrapped boxes under an expertly dressed tree... I might eat some of the various baked goods we have in the office, not the traditional Eggs Benedict I always look forward to. It will be different, there's no doubt about that... But as much as things change, we always find ways to see the similarities...

This is my bed tonight - you'll note two things. 1 - I have some battery powered Christmas lights strung over my bed, as festive as can be. 2- I no longer have to sleep under my sleeping bag for warmth, due to two awesome gifts from my mom. (An advantage to not having a "real" Christmas is getting to open gifts early, there's no big event to wait for). A heated mattress pad and flannel sheets - my mother is the best!

Today was the command Christmas Party, we had a great spread of food from the galley and a slew of baked goods people put out from their care packages. Here you see my Chief and I enjoying some egg nog (which is not nearly as good without the booze) at our desks. Sure, it was Christmas party time, but there was still work to be done. You'll notice one of the stockings hung on the wall to the left, and a kick-ass digital picture frame on the wall behind me. Many thanks to B&E!

After work (my regularly scheduled Thursday night meeting was moved up from 1900 to 1600, so I got out around 1800 and left work around 1845) my roommate, Doc Schelzig, and I decided to take some time outside to enjoy a cigar and a near-beer. I know a year from now I'll remember sitting on a bench in dusty Kandahar chatting about life with him. I hope I can remember it from some place nicer though.

From my latest trip outside the wire, I decided to bring some humor and joy to the day. This Santa means business!

So as you can see, even though Christmas in Kandahar is vastly different than anything I've ever experienced before (or hope to experience again), it still has some of the flavor and flair of the season. I hope everyone else has a wonderful, more traditional Christmas. If you are around family, friends, or loved ones - make sure to give them a hug and let them know you appreciate them. That's probably the thing I will miss most about this Christmas... So mom and dad - I love you and appreciate everything you've done to support me. I'll be home soon.

The Unseen Costs of War

All too often we focus on the direct costs of a conflict - how many dollars per day does it take to run the war? Without a doubt the cost is astronomical, but considering all the parts in motion it's not totally unreasonable. But what of the other costs, those non-monetary costs?

Sure, we all know that families endure hardship with loved ones gone. Whether it is a son or daughter, a husband, wife, father, or mother - there is some felt loss to all those who knew the deployed individual. I will even go so far to assume that in some cases, especially marriages, the impact may be even further felt when the garbage disposal goes berserk and the husband isn't there to fix it, or the kids have a crap day and mom isn't home to say those magical motherly words that seem to make it all better. These are the costs that those who know and care about us must pay, often without choice or vote in the matter.

But there are other costs that are far less obvious. Recently, someone close to me here in Afghanistan had someone very close to them pass away unexpectedly. Being 10,000 miles away doesn't make the loss any less painful; it does make it significantly more difficult to take in and process. There is no chance to go pay final respects, to be among family and friends in whom to seek strength to get through. Furthermore, there is no break, no relief, no space to go be alone with your thoughts, to clear your head, to comprehend and digest the impact this may have. The operational mission does not slow down, the requirements do not waiver, and the daily stress does not step aside or show compassion for your loss. One must soldier on, regardless of the internal cost it will inevitably have.

There is the option for emergency leave to travel home, but even that is not much of an option in itself. In only the most extreme cases is emergency leave granted, and it may take 4 or 5 days until you're home which is often too long. Furthermore, it forces one to chose between themselves and what they're experiencing emotionally, and their mission and comrades who will undoubtedly be forced to pickup the workload during their departure.

It is not only in the instance of death that deployment takes its toll, but in so many facets of life. How do you return to a young child who doesn't remember who you are? How do you tell your pregnant wife you're sorry you couldn't be there during the most difficult times of her labor, or even missing the birth of your child all together? Weddings, birthdays, promotions, celebrations... Deaths, losses, trials, tragedies... We miss them all, and all the emails and video chats in the world can't get them back.

I imagine the hardest part of all is knowing that you cannot simply pick up where you left off because no one is there anymore. Life itself continues to soldier on, even if you wish it hadn't.

A General's Perspective

A while back I wrote about the US role in this conflict, to include our interaction with NATO. Some of it had to deal with the world's opinion of the US, and some of it about Afghanistan and our role here. Retired Army General Barry McCaffrey, an adjunct professor of International Affairs at West Point, wrote what I believe to be the best summary of this conflict I have seen. If you have even the slightest thought or opinion about the war in Afghanistan - which I assume as a reader of this blog you might - I highly suggest reading the report. It is not very long, does not require a glossary of military terms and abbreviations, and is as clear cut and straight forward as could be. Reading his assessment has given some perspective to this conflict and the future of Afghanistan, as well as echoing the sentiments I have written about prior. Below are a few bullets I pulled from the report as items I thought most accurate and present in my experience (emphasis added to stress my thoughts on his points). If you've got the time and motivation,it can be found here.

• There is precious little support for the Afghan operation among the American people. 66% say it is not worth fighting for.
• The Afghan’s are generally extremely grateful for US and international presence. US/NATO forces have a 60%+ favorability rating in the polls.

What the above two points tell me is that there is more support for this war from the Afghanis than from the US. That's a terrible shame in my opinion, that even though we're making things harder for the people right now by getting caught up in the cross-fire, they would still rather keep us here, yet people back home would rather have us out.

• The Taliban now have a serious presence in 160 Districts of 364--- up from 30 Districts in 2003. They have a Shadow Government at Province level and most Districts throughout the country. Insurgent attacks have increased 60% in less than a year. In July alone they employed 828 IED attacks against friendly forces. We should expect 5,700 IED attacks in total by year’s end 2009. We must guard against tactical arrogance by US and Allied ground combat forces.

It's very easy to think that because our enemy lives in mud huts and fights with technology decades behind ours that they are inferrior. While I do believe that we are the better soldiers, the gap is not very wide. Where we train to fight for months or years, our enemy trains their entire life. They are not a force to be trivialized, they are smart and calculating and very good at what they do.

• Twice in recent months we have seen battalion sized units of Taliban fighters conduct highly successful (not-withstanding catastrophic losses by the attacking insurgents) complex attacks employing surprise, reconnaissance, fire support, maneuver, and enormous courage in an attempt to over run isolated US units. This is not Iraq.
• The current US force level of 68,000 troops will increase per order of President Obama on 2 December by as many as 33,000 additional troops. The Allies may well provide an additional 7000+ reinforcements. However, only the courageous Brit’s will have both robust ROE and an aggressive ground-air-logistics-SOF combat capability. The Canadians and the Dutch will withdraw. The political support in Germany for their Bundeswehr (extremely weak capabilities because of very restrictive ROE) is on the verge of collapse. The French are extremely capable but in the field in small numbers.

The General holds back even fewer punches than I did. How is it that we are sending 30,000 troops and the entire NATO contribution to match will be less than a quarter?

• Afghanistan and Iraq are an immensely costly war running in excess of $377 million a day in FY10 Constant dollars. (WWII was $622 million per day.).
• There is no inevitability to history. We are neither the Brit’s nor the Soviets.
• Our focus must now not be on an exit strategy -- but effective execution of the political, economic, and military measures required to achieve our purpose.

This may not open any eyes or change any opinions, but reading the thoughts of someone who clearly knows what they are talking about, has been there, and has seen it first hand is more meaningful to me than all the talking heads and media spin a news network could muster.

On rain, rivalries, and realizations

Just returned from another trip out and about Afghanistan - it's definitely getting cold out there! We had a pretty serious rain storm come through (as did most of the US it seems) and the temperature has plummeted since. On the plus side, the dust is down and the skies are beautifully clear. On the down side it's cold and wet and moon dust makes moon mud.

This is the lake that was just outside my hooch. Our office had a number of large puddles inside of it due to poor weatherproofing - also awesome.

I've gained another piece of valuable knowledge when it comes to traveling. This is my first trip receiving any sort of safety brief before we boarded - this time flying with the Canadians. The gentleman asked if anyone had not flown on a CH-47 Chinook before and a few people raised their hands. He then stated "If the helicopter crashes, get out and get very far away..." then pointed out that there were doors located fore and aft and the windows could be used as escape hatches as well, although they're only about 1' in diameter so I'm not sure how anyone can get out wearing the gear we have to wear. In any event - I thought that was an excellent safety brief and now know that, in the event of a crash (not "unscheduled landing" like the airlines call it), I should get out of the helicopter and far away - who knew.

While at my destination, I also had another observation of how this place has impacted me. It was night and very dark due to restrictions on light use after dark. I happened to look up and see a spot of light streaking across the sky with a bright tail. My instant thought was that it was an incoming rocket, and I tried to estimate where it might land and how long until impact. Only after it burned out and I never heard a boom did I realize that it was a shooting star. So much for child-like wonder and amazement...

But, before anyone thinks that I've lost all of my imagination and appreciation for the absurd and exciting - I have to provide some levity. The photo below is of the USFOR-A building. USFOR-A is the head of US Forces - Afghanistan, and is run by the Army. I have many a meeting in this building talking about all kinds of things. Now, the fact that it was built by Navy Seabees and is called the Marvin G. Shields building after the only Seabee Medal of Honor recipient is one thing. But the other night we took it to a whole new level!

I'm pretty sure they still haven't figured out how they're going to get us back, or even how to get it down...

I think that's all for now. A few people are out of my office and stuck at one of the FOBs, making me the highest ranking person in the office... this means more meetings and phone calls and responsibility and pressure, which all results in my being more tired tonight than usual. Two more months and a few days and I'll have a real bed with real blankets in a real building with real walls and so many other things - I am looking forward to it more than you could possibly know.

NATO's big brother, the USA...

I'll start this off by noting that the following is a random diatribe of no real basis or motivation, and I've been writing it for the past two or three weeks. Just some things I have observed, and not meant as anything more than that. With that disclaimer, my thoughts on the interaction of the United States in a NATO war.

Despite this being an international war fought by the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, I fully believe that the United States is the primary influence and power involved, with NATO support. This is not based off some purely Ameri-centric view point that we are somehow the better country, more noble, more just, or more powerful than anyone else. Instead, it is based off pure observations here in Afghanistan.

For one, KAF is a NATO base in Canadian battlespace. As such, you would expect a heavy Canadian and international influence, and you would not be mistaken - there are numerous compounds for the British, Dutch, Romanians, etc. There is a hockey rink at the middle of the boardwalk, built by the Canadians, and a large indoor soccer (football) field built by the British. But where there are not compounds, those areas that are not distinctly dedicated to a specific nation - the rest of the area is widely considered American. The major roads throughout KAF have names like All American Blvd and Screaming Eagle Rd, the majority of the new construction here on KAF is being done by the Americans, and mostly for American troops. The US has a massive presence at this base, far larger than any other country.

At the political level it is also readily apparent. When President Obama announced that he was delaying his answer on a troop surge until he had a withdrawl plan, it was only a matter of minutes before other major nations started to announce that they were also looking at a withdrawl plan. I have no doubt that the two are very closely related, especially considering that since then the US has decided to send 30,000 more troops and close behind were NATO nations with their offers of support. If the US had chosen to leave, would everyone have followed suit? I'm not sure, but I do know that much of the world watches the US to see what our next step will be, and they base their actions on that.

What does any of this really mean? Probably not much more than the electrons it's written on. However, it is always interesting to note that the United States seems to be a polarizing and magnifying country. Rarely do those things that we do as a nation go un-noticed, rarely do they illicit only mild emotions and responses. For better or for worse, people both condemn outright those things that we do and also harold them as spectacular achievements in whatever specific area.

I've never had a sibling, but I can only imagine that there would have been situations in my life where I would watch a big brother to wait and see what he did. If he jumped into a lake, no matter how cold I thought it was, I would probably jump in too. If he said "no way, that's crazy", I'd likely avoid it. Is America the "big brother" to the rest of the world? Even that term ilicits images and fears of phone tapping and CIA sneakery.

So, like I said - there was no point to this other than to write out the thoughts in my head, inspiried by the actions and realities of the world I find myself in out here. With tens of thousands of troops at the doorstep of Afghanistan, ready to fight, it's up to my team to make sure they have a place to sleep and eat and find comfort - not a small task, but as noble as any I can think of.