Today marks the date that I can safely say I will be back to the United States in a month or less. I hesitate to say it, because the world has a way of screwing with plans, but I'm going for it. Less than a month... and I'll be 10,000 miles away from any of this, and yet I have a sinking suspicion that the actuality will be that much of this place will stay with me for quite some time. Some good things, some bad things, and many things in between.
My understanding of the plans for my return are that my parents will meet me in Port Hueneme along with Brian & Elke, my best friends in San Diego. We'll head back to San Diego for the 72-96 hour liberty and my only goal is to relax, sleep a full nights rest, and not have to worry about anything at all. I'll get to pick up my Jeep and motorcycle and check on the boat, and move all of the new Jeep parts out of Brian's garage into mine.
After the short break in San Diego I'll be back up in Port Hueneme to check out of the NCR and go through the demobilization process. Medical checkups, paperwork, returning all my gear, and probably a bunch of sitting around waiting for bureaucracy just like when I came out here. Then it's all done and I can start my terminal leave. As a Reservist I don't get to keep my vacation time earned while I was out here so I can either sell out for a lump sum or take the time, which will be about a month. I'm definitely taking the time off!!!
Anna flys in from Chicago right around when my demobilization process ends and we're going to the Seabee Ball up in Port Hueneme. It'll be good to see everyone and meet all of the families and wives and girlfriends that I have heard so much about over the past 6 months. I'm sure there will be plenty of shared memories, sea-stories, and drinks. The Ball is at the Reagan library in Simi Valley, which is apparently a very swank location and quite the classy affair. Luckily I'll have a few more medals to pin on my uniform from this deployment so I won't look so out-of-place among the rest of the group.
From there, it's just time off in San Diego. Working on the Jeep, spending the day out on the bay, or lounging around in my pajamas all day - no rocket attacks, no weapon to worry about, no deadlines, no one telling me what to do or how to do it, no need to worry about who or what is around the next corner. It's going to be nice... very nice.
And then it's back to "real life" as though none of this had ever happened... That may be an entire blog of its own...
26 January 2010
20 January 2010
The well runs dry...
Marine Corps Colonel B.P. McCoy wrote an excellent and moving book titled "The Passion of Command". For anyone who wants to know what it truly means to be a leader of men in the context of combat and military operations, look no further than this book. It is raw and unforgiving, and best I can tell it is true. But this is not a plug, simply a prelude...
COL McCoy writes about the "Well of Fortitude", where commanders and soldiers alike must go within themselves to find the strength to go on, to find the willpower to keep up the seemingly impossible pace that we are asked and expected to maintain. One goes to this well to draw from to muster up the energy and courage to keep up with their duties, and I fear mine is running dry...
The past week has been particularly tough, with an accumulation of disappointments, let downs, changed directives, run-arounds, and all together hassle. Some self inflicted, some out of my control, but all of it emotionally and physically taxing. I have taken my first personal time off since I've been here, to lay at home and close my eyes with the hopes that things will be different when I open them again.
There's only a few weeks left... It would be too easy to give up now and let the rest of my deployment coast from the momentum of all the hard work I've put in up to now. I'm too proud to let that happen, and my selfishness would only serve to hurt those depending on me.
As life tends to do in these situations, the hits keep coming... The cable to my laptop appears to have given up the ghost and my battery is near dead. I will MacGyver it the best I can, as anyone who knows me would expect. Some bubble gum, a hamster wheel, and a little luck and I'll be back before you know it.
COL McCoy writes about the "Well of Fortitude", where commanders and soldiers alike must go within themselves to find the strength to go on, to find the willpower to keep up the seemingly impossible pace that we are asked and expected to maintain. One goes to this well to draw from to muster up the energy and courage to keep up with their duties, and I fear mine is running dry...
The past week has been particularly tough, with an accumulation of disappointments, let downs, changed directives, run-arounds, and all together hassle. Some self inflicted, some out of my control, but all of it emotionally and physically taxing. I have taken my first personal time off since I've been here, to lay at home and close my eyes with the hopes that things will be different when I open them again.
There's only a few weeks left... It would be too easy to give up now and let the rest of my deployment coast from the momentum of all the hard work I've put in up to now. I'm too proud to let that happen, and my selfishness would only serve to hurt those depending on me.
As life tends to do in these situations, the hits keep coming... The cable to my laptop appears to have given up the ghost and my battery is near dead. I will MacGyver it the best I can, as anyone who knows me would expect. Some bubble gum, a hamster wheel, and a little luck and I'll be back before you know it.
12 January 2010
What's that taste?
It's the taste of home... so close... In a month I will either be beyond crazy with trying to finish my transition, or completely laid back due to having already turned over all my work. Either way, it wont matter as I'll almost be home.
Planning for returning is exciting, but still a bit stressful. All those things I spent time putting on hold when I left, I now have to start back up. My vehicle registration has lapsed, my car insurance needs to be beefed up to "driving" standards, etc etc etc. I have to ship home all the awesome gifts people have sent me while out here, and the collection of those that I purchased while here. On the plus side, at home I have a bed and house and friends and no real need to worry about all of this right off the bat because it's familiar.
At least, I hope it's familiar. I wonder how much can really change in six months? A few of my friends have new significant others, so there are new members of my friend pool that I may consider outsiders, but at the same time will consider me the same. I'm sure inside jokes will have come and gone and come again, and it will take time to get back into the swing of things. People will have changed, locations will have changed, even the general culture will have changed. Avatar is apparently the biggest movie since Gone With the Wind, and I have zero idea what it's about other than it's some sci-fi flick that everyone seems to love (including my parents). So adjusting will be tough, but I think my life has custom-tailored me to these situations.
Having close to a month off (paid) won't be too bad, either.
Planning for returning is exciting, but still a bit stressful. All those things I spent time putting on hold when I left, I now have to start back up. My vehicle registration has lapsed, my car insurance needs to be beefed up to "driving" standards, etc etc etc. I have to ship home all the awesome gifts people have sent me while out here, and the collection of those that I purchased while here. On the plus side, at home I have a bed and house and friends and no real need to worry about all of this right off the bat because it's familiar.
At least, I hope it's familiar. I wonder how much can really change in six months? A few of my friends have new significant others, so there are new members of my friend pool that I may consider outsiders, but at the same time will consider me the same. I'm sure inside jokes will have come and gone and come again, and it will take time to get back into the swing of things. People will have changed, locations will have changed, even the general culture will have changed. Avatar is apparently the biggest movie since Gone With the Wind, and I have zero idea what it's about other than it's some sci-fi flick that everyone seems to love (including my parents). So adjusting will be tough, but I think my life has custom-tailored me to these situations.
Having close to a month off (paid) won't be too bad, either.
04 January 2010
Know Thy Audience
So at random times throughout my time of posting this blog, people have told me about how they read it, and how they have friends who read it, and how their friend's chihuahua reads it. It begs the question - who actually takes the time to read what I'm writing. Originally this was intended as a way to communicate with friends and family on the initial assumption that I may not have regular access to email and this might be the only way. That has long since been proven false, but I still post, and people still read, and it seems to be a happy medium. But the question of who, and even how, still comes to me from time to time.
So the persistent nag of curiosity has gotten the better of me and I have to ask - who are you, and how did you come to be reading this today? Does my blog show up on google searches, or is it a more logical and traceable "6 degrees of Me" kind of thing?
Below this post, there is a link that says "comment", which allows for feedback and, well, comments. If you have made it this far, and I can assume you've read other posts, and you have the time and motivation - go ahead and let me know the who and the how. I must say, this is not a narcissistic ploy in disguise, I am not looking for compliments or reviews, although you're always welcome to say what you think.
Will it change anything I write about? Probably not. I'm still here, and I'm still going to be as honest as I can about what's going on around me. I'm just curious... who am I really writing to.
Thank you.
So the persistent nag of curiosity has gotten the better of me and I have to ask - who are you, and how did you come to be reading this today? Does my blog show up on google searches, or is it a more logical and traceable "6 degrees of Me" kind of thing?
Below this post, there is a link that says "comment", which allows for feedback and, well, comments. If you have made it this far, and I can assume you've read other posts, and you have the time and motivation - go ahead and let me know the who and the how. I must say, this is not a narcissistic ploy in disguise, I am not looking for compliments or reviews, although you're always welcome to say what you think.
Will it change anything I write about? Probably not. I'm still here, and I'm still going to be as honest as I can about what's going on around me. I'm just curious... who am I really writing to.
Thank you.
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